Friday, October 15, 2010

WHERE A WOMANS PLACE IS

In this day an age, where is the Caribbean womans place? When I say caribbean woman, I mean those who were either born and raised in OR BY caribbean family members or people.

Excuse me but I am speaking of caribbean women because they are the only ones I know. With that being said, in the caribbean (although many may WANT to disagree but its the truth), the womans place is to always have the house clean, clothes must be washed, ironed and clean. Have the children tidy, well mannered and obedient.  The food must be on the table, whether its as simple as a roast bake with butter and cheese chased by some "tea" of some sort or a more complex meal like rice, macaroni pie, stew chicken, peas, callaloo and potato salad AND drink.  Something had better be hot and on that table for breakfast and for evening lunch/dinner.  When the night comes, for 'dessert' there is the duty of satisfying the husband/ man of the house sexually.

BUT HOLD ON NOW
It is 2010 and back in whatever year it was, a long time ago people were introduced to The Young and The Restless, Sons and Daughters, Jerry Springer, Maury and worse yet COURT TV and OPRAH!!!!!  Attitudes erupted. Women and men alike were leaving these caribbean countries and migrating by the thousands to Canada, the United States, Europe, etc.  The problems then begin, through no actual fault of their own directly but a clash (if you will) of cultures.  You see, the women got out and got with the European program QUICK, not saying that the men dont but women conform quicker and in most cases for the sake of children do it much faster.  Women saw that there was no other way to "make it" aside from working and to work HARD at that.  These corporate jobs are requiring 40 hours (sometimes more) to keep your entry level, easily replaceable position.  You must stay dedicated to this 'job'.  There is the commute which is an additional 10 hours per week (on average).  Lets do the math. At 7 days a week and 24 hours in a day is 168 hours a week.  Take away 50 hours a week (minimum if you have no overtime) for work and daily commute will leave you with 118.  At home which previously mentioned in the 1st paragraph I'D SAY the roll of a mother/wife takes just about that much time. Subtract an additional 25 (for argument sake).  That leaves what, 93 HOURS! You can divide that by what you will, but 93 hours a week leaves a woman with very little to no time to get a full 8 hours sleep at night AND run her household the way she was brought up to and lets not forget the biweekly hair, nails, toes and SHOPPING.  Most women try and some actually CAN do it but what about those women who cant?  What about those women who let the house go, or forget that load of clothes because she is physically drained?  What if a meal gets sacrificed for some well deserved sleep?  Who picks up that slack?  What if her husband is too set in his old fashioned ways and doesn't help?  Worse yet, what if there is NO husband/help meet at all and this burden falls on the shoulders of a single mother? Or grieving widow?

So...............where EXACTLY is the "place" of these women?

In these financial hard times, she is an asset to her family in the corporate world but needed just as much FULL TIME in the home.  How can that happen?  I think that women, are a VERY strong creature, slightly unbalanced (me) LOL but still, remarkably strong and they MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

WOMEN: Pleasing everyone whether its your mother, father, husband, boyfriend, whoever is IMPOSSIBLE.  Grab those closest to you and ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT!!! They know you and marvel at your strength and WILL help.  Women are breaking down mentally every day because of the unbearable stresses that come along with this doublelife.

MEN:  If you have one of these strong women by your side, KEEP her, LOVE her, HELP her, APPRECIATE her and not just for today, do it every day because the place that I feel these women really belong, is in your HEART!!!!!!!!

**THIS POST WAS INSPIRED BY MY WONDERFUL GRANDMOTHER UNEEDA AND MY LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE MOTHER CISLYN.  2 STRONG, AMBITIOUS WOMEN THAT ALWAYS HAD AND STILL HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GO ON. I LOVE YOU BOTH**

1 comment:

  1. Well I am one of those Women who have to do everything all by herself (not b/c I want to, husband not here) and at one point thought I was going to break down. But when you look at us who was raised in Trinidad sometimes dont come out here and change into for a lack of a better word Yankee Women...the class of woman who just lazy and dont want to do nothing besides take care of themselves by shopping, etc...I have a very old fashioned husband and just this morning while talking to him I asked him if when he come up if he would cook for himself and the children while I am in school...well his response was "What u mean? So why u cant cook when you come home in de day for de next day?"...So here it is I have to get up in the morning, get me and the kids ready for school, come home to cook and clean up after everybody, still make sure EVERYBODY homework done and supply him with my nightly wifely duties, then on a weekend get ready to wash, cook big on Sunday, get everybody ready for church, get homework done for Monday and then still do my NIGHTLY WIFELY DUTIES....I'm tired just by typing and reading my duties....But guess what it has to be done by me....cause if I dont then some chicken head will try to do it for me, but thats another topic....In my household as I was taught by my grandmother Elma Cox, RIP, is to take care of ur husband (head of house), kids, house then yourself....Do I always follow? Most of the time yes, because like I said If I dont do it then who will??????? I understand what your saying but sometimes it is better to stay in a womans place and still take care of school/work....Again IF NOT ME, THEN WHO?????

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